Publisher Says Happy Birthday!
Today
(as I write, it is November 7) is a very fine day in the life of
your publishers. It is Donna’s birthday!!!!
Coincidentally, by the way, she has asked to have a column ready
before the day is over, because press time is looming and there is
space for my chatter this issue.
It is
not always easy to buy a present for Donna, although she accepts
whatever I get her with great joy, because she does like to be
gifted. Of course, we are at the opposite end of the poles when it
comes to buying gifts, because I look for practical gifts and she
would like to have anything but.
I could
offer a long list of the impractical stuff she has received from me
over the past 27 years, while the practical gifts number a very few.
Sometimes I just can’t resist getting something she needs instead of
something she doesn’t need. For example I did force on her a new
mixer, in lieu of anything frivolous, a couple of years ago. (She
wanted the cheapest and I wanted the most expensive.)
This is
the time when I am faced with mere months separating a birthday,
Christmas, Valentine’s Day, and our wedding anniversary, all of
which require me to come up with something un-useful. I guess a few
diamonds on something can be called useful, but the practical part
is sort of debatable.
I’ve
noticed that the impractical type of gift tends to be more expensive
than most of the “useful” stuff I would like to buy.
I
believe I have struck gold on this birthday! I gifted her with
something I believe is quite useful and not too frivolous,
inexpensive but offering a great deal of enjoyment for the future,
including mine.
Plus,
there is always the possibility that my gift (actually four…no, make
that thousands) might some day be collectible. I can lay claim to
starting a new collection just for her.
I’m
sorry I have to prolong telling you what the gifts are, but I’m
required to write a relatively long column this time, and if I tell
you the punch line right away I might be forced to come up with an
additional topic, which would not be in my best interest (or perhaps
yours).
The idea
for these gifts, of which there are literally thousands, springs
from a problem that developed recently when Donna’s laptop, a
vintage Macintosh, first required her to hold the power plug in with
her hand, and then went off to computer heaven. This is a very big
thing, because that laptop provided her hours and hours of
relaxation every evening, having long before given up its role as a
business machine.
Thus, my
very own laptop became the object of her affection as she whiled
away her free time in the evenings.
And
thus, we have a problem, and happily my solution to the gifting
dilemma. The problem, not uncommon these days, is that her laptop
was a Mac and mine is a PC. And, residing on her computer were
certain solitaire games, the loss of which caused her untold
hardship, because they were not the same as my laptop’s games.
My
solution: I purchased not one but five computer game discs. The
number of games available ranges to over 10,000. Solitaire games
alone number a cool thousand. If she tries a new game every evening,
she will be thirty years older before she gets to them all. The slot
games are almost as good as Atlantic City, Lake Tahoe or Vegas, and
she can win without losing a cent. She can even place the big bets.
Of
course, it remains to be seen whether she can find games in there
that compare to those she lost. I’m quite sure she will try.
Meanwhile, the other great thing about these as really practical
gifts is that I have access to all those wonderful games. After all,
it’s my computer, and she can’t have it all of the time. I hope!
Happy
Birthday, Donna!!!
Ron Miller |
